Alternate title: That time I worked with Cliff Clavin's understudy, and Aaron Sorkin collaborated with B.J. Novak to script our workday
I used to work in a room with three* interestingly quirky people. Age-wise, we ranged pretty evenly from early-20s to mid-50s. Each person had a unique background, a distinct personality, and each had vastly different outlooks on life, in general. They came from different parts of the country. One was career Navy, one is a Nostradamus enthusiast,** and one is a rocket scientist*** ... it was a motley crew of a melting pot and we spent most of each day writing intsall/removal procedures for everything you could find inside a customized Bombardier business jet.
I used to work in a room with three* interestingly quirky people. Age-wise, we ranged pretty evenly from early-20s to mid-50s. Each person had a unique background, a distinct personality, and each had vastly different outlooks on life, in general. They came from different parts of the country. One was career Navy, one is a Nostradamus enthusiast,** and one is a rocket scientist*** ... it was a motley crew of a melting pot and we spent most of each day writing intsall/removal procedures for everything you could find inside a customized Bombardier business jet.
Anyway, the room's dynamic often provided the perfect environment for spirited discussions. Most of the following is verbatim—a few minutes-or-so into it, I knew it was going to be a keeper and I started transcribing as it was happening:
RAQUEL: I went to Fire on the Mountain yesterday!
Anyway, the room's dynamic often provided the perfect environment for spirited discussions. Most of the following is verbatim—a few minutes-or-so into it, I knew it was going to be a keeper and I started transcribing as it was happening:
RAQUEL: I went to Fire on the Mountain yesterday!
WILL: Yes, you said that, this morning.
RAQUEL: No, I didn't.
WILL: Yeah, you had an Asian salad and said it was the best you've ever had.
RAQUEL: Have you ever had it?
WILL: No.
RAQUEL: You should. Just don't get celery. Celery is bad.
DARREL: Where did you go?
RAQUEL: Fire on the Mountain! It's a chicken-wing joint over on—
DARREL: You know, that's named after a movie with James Garner.
WILL: (silence).
RAQUEL: It's a Grateful Dead song.
DARREL: I don't know about that. Where is this place?
RAQUEL: East Burnside.
WILL: There's also one on North Interstate. But we had this conversation—almost verbatim—about 2 months ago.
DARREL: No. I wasn't here for that.
RAQUEL: Yes you were—we all watched the Dead's Fire on the Mountain video on You Tube.
DARREL: No, I wasn't here.
WILL: (silence, possibly a small face-palm).
RAQUEL: Yes you were, we all were, and we—.
DARREL: I don't think so.
WILL: Yeah, we were all here. I distinctly remember you telling me that "grateful dead" was a literary reference.
DARREL: What? Me? Are you sure?
RAQUEL and WILL (in unison): Yes.
DARREL: Well, it is a literary reference.
WILL: No, it’s not. And, seriously, we’ve already had this whole conversation. (I put my headphones back on).
Five minutes later:
DARREL: (getting my attention) I remember now! We were talking about Lynyrd Skynyrd.
WILL: Huh?
DARREL: When I worked for Alamo Car Rental, I used to rent to Lynryd Skynryd whenever they came to town.
RAQUEL: No. No, we were definitely talking about the Grateful Dead.
WILL: Yeah, she's right.
DARREL: That's crazy! I know nothing about the Grateful Dead.
WILL: I know.
DARREL: Well, I know about the Jerry Garcia ice cream.
RAQUEL: Cherry Garcia.
DARREL: Yeah, I never understood that. But "Leonard Skinnard" was the name of one of the band member's wrestling coach in high school.
(I put my headphones back on)
Five minutes later:
DARREL: (getting my attention again and pointing to some Web page .pdf that has "Grateful Dead" written in the header) See, it's a literary reference.
WILL: Okay, fine ... but "grateful dead" was a dictionary entry that they randomly—totally arbitrarily—picked when—
DARREL: You mean "grateful" and "dead" . . . 2 different entries.
WILL: No.
DARREL: Oh, you mean, it's one entry?!
WILL: Yes.
DARREL: So it is a literary reference.
WILL: Okay.
(I knew he was all kinds of wrong, and I wanted so badly to keep challenging his mind-numbing illogic, but this conversation was already exhausting—especially since it was the second time around.)
DARREL: Yeah, I don't want to come off as some kind of "poseur." ****
WILL: No, Darrel, it's all good.
DARREL: Do you know where the term rip off came from? I know approximately when it was first said and who first said it: See, in the 15th century, when the vikings . . .
(I put my headphones back on before he could finish the sentence.)
* Tim was the fourth person, and I'm sure he's grateful to have missed this entire episode.
** Seriously. Actually a self-proclaimed expert and unpublished author. He is a hardcore Nostradamus (and other "futurists") type of guy. You know the kind. Or perhaps you don't. But you get the picture.
*** Also seriously. Aeronautical engineering degree.
**** Yes, he did the air quotes when he said it.
WILL: Yes, you said that, this morning.
RAQUEL: No, I didn't.
WILL: Yeah, you had an Asian salad and said it was the best you've ever had.
RAQUEL: Have you ever had it?
WILL: No.
RAQUEL: You should. Just don't get celery. Celery is bad.
DARREL: Where did you go?
RAQUEL: Fire on the Mountain! It's a chicken-wing joint over on—
DARREL: You know, that's named after a movie with James Garner.
WILL: (silence).
RAQUEL: It's a Grateful Dead song.
DARREL: I don't know about that. Where is this place?
RAQUEL: East Burnside.
WILL: There's also one on North Interstate. But we had this conversation—almost verbatim—about 2 months ago.
DARREL: No. I wasn't here for that.
RAQUEL: Yes you were—we all watched the Dead's Fire on the Mountain video on You Tube.
DARREL: No, I wasn't here.
WILL: (silence, possibly a small face-palm).
RAQUEL: Yes you were, we all were, and we—.
DARREL: I don't think so.
WILL: Yeah, we were all here. I distinctly remember you telling me that "grateful dead" was a literary reference.
DARREL: What? Me? Are you sure?
RAQUEL and WILL (in unison): Yes.
DARREL: Well, it is a literary reference.
WILL: No, it’s not. And, seriously, we’ve already had this whole conversation. (I put my headphones back on).
Five minutes later:
DARREL: (getting my attention) I remember now! We were talking about Lynyrd Skynyrd.
WILL: Huh?
DARREL: When I worked for Alamo Car Rental, I used to rent to Lynryd Skynryd whenever they came to town.
RAQUEL: No. No, we were definitely talking about the Grateful Dead.
WILL: Yeah, she's right.
DARREL: That's crazy! I know nothing about the Grateful Dead.
WILL: I know.
DARREL: Well, I know about the Jerry Garcia ice cream.
RAQUEL: Cherry Garcia.
DARREL: Yeah, I never understood that. But "Leonard Skinnard" was the name of one of the band member's wrestling coach in high school.
(I put my headphones back on)
Five minutes later:
DARREL: (getting my attention again and pointing to some Web page .pdf that has "Grateful Dead" written in the header) See, it's a literary reference.
WILL: Okay, fine ... but "grateful dead" was a dictionary entry that they randomly—totally arbitrarily—picked when—
DARREL: You mean "grateful" and "dead" . . . 2 different entries.
WILL: No.
DARREL: Oh, you mean, it's one entry?!
WILL: Yes.
DARREL: So it is a literary reference.
WILL: Okay.
(I knew he was all kinds of wrong, and I wanted so badly to keep challenging his mind-numbing illogic, but this conversation was already exhausting—especially since it was the second time around.)
(I knew he was all kinds of wrong, and I wanted so badly to keep challenging his mind-numbing illogic, but this conversation was already exhausting—especially since it was the second time around.)
DARREL: Yeah, I don't want to come off as some kind of "poseur." ****
WILL: No, Darrel, it's all good.
DARREL: Do you know where the term rip off came from? I know approximately when it was first said and who first said it: See, in the 15th century, when the vikings . . .
(I put my headphones back on before he could finish the sentence.)
* Tim was the fourth person, and I'm sure he's grateful to have missed this entire episode.
** Seriously. Actually a self-proclaimed expert and unpublished author. He is a hardcore Nostradamus (and other "futurists") type of guy. You know the kind. Or perhaps you don't. But you get the picture.
*** Also seriously. Aeronautical engineering degree.
**** Yes, he did the air quotes when he said it.
** Seriously. Actually a self-proclaimed expert and unpublished author. He is a hardcore Nostradamus (and other "futurists") type of guy. You know the kind. Or perhaps you don't. But you get the picture.
*** Also seriously. Aeronautical engineering degree.
**** Yes, he did the air quotes when he said it.
